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Social media, social marketing, or just plain social: no matter what you call it, social is clearly the new pink, the place everyone wants their company to be at. But for all the attention it gets, brands continue to overlook the underlying reality: you don’t make your business more social by going to Facebook, Twitter and Google+, you make a business that people want more and they in turn go to those channels for you.

Better Experiences = Better Social Footprint

Brands hire people to run social media and then tell them to collect more followers, to incent them to talk more with the promise of a coupon or a contest and to make sure it all has a positive ROI. Not surprisingly brands have a hard time getting much out of their social investment.

As a social strategist I’m use to people calling me and asking how we fix this. How we make them more social, build up the buzz. My response is simple: what are your product managers, customer service agents, and operation teams doing to improve your experience.

Marketing Exists to Channel the Experience, Not Create It

The world is clamoring for our attention as shoppers. Buy this, join that and of course be sure to like / tweet / share it. But no one wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves “I wonder what brand would really like me to share something about them.” Instead we go about our days interacting with literally hundreds of products and services and for all those touchpoints we may talk about one or two.

Becoming those one or two isn’t about slick marketing, great apps or a freebie, it’s about having something so good – or so bad – that it’s worth talking about to you… The barista who remembered your order and gave you a smile on a rough morning; the new laptop that arrived 3 days earlier than expected; and the airline who left you on hold for 30 minutes only to charge you for the call. It’s these exceptional cases that stand out and warrant a comment, a check-in, a rating – marketing can’t make them the experience, marketing can’t buy it.

So instead of making social about marketing, marketing should be able making the company social. Not everyone needs to be on twitter but everyone needs to know what’s being said, experienced, and shared.

Experience is talked about in their world. Not yours.

This is a fundamental paradigm shift — we’ve held the keys and controlled the message and that’s hard to let go. Well get over it. As tempting as it may be to build up your own empire [aka a facebook fan page or twitter account] social doesn’t come from your world, it comes from the individuals: 150 friends, 500 followers, 90 meetup buddies, the individual’s network is where the power is at and one person passing something along to their friends trumps one post to your wall any day.

Rather than putting all of your energy into getting people to post on your wall, shouldn’t you be concerned about if you have created something worthy of being posted on theirs? So what if you can’t measure it as well: it’s not about you, it’s about being social.

Social experiences aren’t limited to social channels

Now that the world has started to accept social as the powerhouse of influence, it’s as if everything else doesn’t matter. Sent a tweet? Here’s a freebie for your trouble. Called up? Here’s the hold music on a 30 minute loop. Social networks are channels, hugely important vessels for interaction and reach, but not the start nor the end of the destination – people don’t buy your Facebook page or plugin your YouTube video. If your experience suffers elsewhere having a better place to hang the dirty laundry won’t fix it; so keep your house in order no matter where people may interact.

Make an excellent product. Rock your service. Overdeliver at every step. That’s how you “win” in the social conversation.

The concept of fan-gated promotions is simple: offer a fabulous prize on long-shot odds and use it to force more people into connecting with some brand. It’s the Publisher Clearing House million dollar giveaway mashed up with the Facebook API and all with the goal of collecting as many likes as possible to sell magazines [or whatever] too. And in social that makes absolutely no sense.

Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean they actually like you.

Practically every social media thought-leader has advocated against making likes / followers / fans counts the focus of social efforts yet building the “list” remains a major emphasis – an inescapable throw back to direct marketing. So to get there brands have resorted to the bribery method… a give to get… the fan-gated contest.

But that’s exactly the problem: people aren’t connecting out of an interest, passion or brand affinity: like-to-enter is about the prize — their side of the get. So aside from the rare occurrence where a contest comes from a brand they just happen to already connect with there’s about as much interest in hearing more as there is in hearing about your local exterminator’s daily house calls.

Sure, giving away the million bucks (or just a few free products) gets the clicks but it doesn’t create any actual interest.

It’s no surprise why social engagement is so low.

There’s been a lot of data tossed around lately about just how much Facebook filters out with their EdgeRank process and as result you have marketers practically screaming that all of the people who “signed up for their updates” aren’t seeing them. This is a fair critique when fans are collected the “hard way” and innately connected [even still interest levels vary widely] but when they come from a promotion – well if someone can’t be bothered to take just one action (which would significantly boost their visibility), enough said.

And it’s not going to drive social results.

In traditional contests the goal of a wide audience is fractions. Get enough people, send enough marketing, have a few conversions. But social sites aren’t simply about a click, a coupon redemption, and a sale and engagement follows interest. People who follow a brand because they already like them come with a reason to interact — the promotional user does not.

If you want to build an opt-in list with a contest, build one. But do it in a medium where people expect offers, where they want discounts and coupons – get their email address – and leave social to those who want to engage.